Have you ever been playfully (or not so playfully) told to “Go do the dishes!” and found yourself at a loss for words?
Whether it’s a lighthearted jest among friends or a family member nudging you towards the sink, having a witty comeback can turn the moment into a fun exchange.
Today, we’ve compiled 23 clever retorts to “Go do the dishes!” that are sure to bring a smile or even a hearty laugh.
These comebacks will add a bit of spice to your daily banter and maybe, just maybe, get you out of dish duty now and then.
#1 – “And risk ruining my manicure? Never!”
- A playful response that humorously suggests you have more glamorous priorities.
#2 – “I’m practicing for a paper plate-only lifestyle.”
- Implies that you’re aiming for a future where doing dishes becomes obsolete.
#3 – “Only if you sing the clean-up song!”
- A fun way to involve the other person in the task, maybe making it a more entertaining chore.
#4 – “How about rock, paper, scissors for it?”
- Suggests a game to decide who really has to do the dishes, adding an element of chance.
#5 – “I thought you wanted to build character?”
- A witty retort implying that doing the dishes is a character-building exercise for the person who asked.
#6 – “But I’m allergic to wet sponges!”
- A humorous excuse, playing up an imaginary allergy to avoid the task.
#7 – “I cooked, you clean!”
- Reminds the other person of the classic household rule: the one who cooks doesn’t have to clean.
#8 – “I’m on dish-strike until further notice.”
- A tongue-in-cheek way to declare a temporary hiatus from dishwashing duties.
#9 – “Let’s ask the magic 8-ball!”
- Brings in a bit of mystique and fun by suggesting a decision should be left to chance.
#10 – “I’m saving water for the environment.”
- A socially conscious excuse, playfully using environmental concern to skirt the chore.
#11 – “My horoscope warned me against dishes today.”
- A humorous way to use astrology as your ‘rational’ defense against dishwashing.
#12 – “I’m currently in a no-dishwashing phase of life.”
- A lighthearted way to declare a personal policy against doing dishes.
#13 – “I did them in my dream last night, does that count?”
- A creative and funny way to say you’ve already done your part, at least in the dream world.
#14 – “I’m preserving the artistic food remnants for inspiration.”
- Turns the task into an artful endeavor, joking about the leftovers as a source of creativity.
#15 – “My fortuneteller said I should avoid soap today.”
- Another mystical excuse, this time invoking the advice of a fortuneteller.
#16 – “I support the growth of dish ecosystems.”
- A humorous take, pretending to be a supporter of the tiny ecosystem that forms in unwashed dishes.
#17 – “I’m waiting for the dishwashing fairy.”
- A whimsical excuse, hoping for a mythical creature to take care of the chore.
#18 – “I’m researching if dishes can clean themselves if left alone.”
- Pretends to conduct a ‘scientific’ experiment on self-cleaning dishes.
#19 – “But I’m the designated taste tester!”
- Implies that your role in the kitchen is strictly limited to tasting, not cleaning.
#20 – “I donated my dishwashing time to charity.”
- A humorous way to say your time is being used for a nobler cause.
#21 – “I’m practicing saying ‘no’ more often.”
- A cheeky response that turns down the request as a part of personal development.
#22 – “Dishes are afraid of me, you better do them.”
- A funny way to suggest that you’re so bad at doing dishes, it’s best if someone else handles them.
#23 – “I’m busy writing a book called ‘How to Avoid Doing Dishes’.”
- A creative excuse that implies you’re too caught up in writing about avoiding the task to actually do it.
And there you have it – our roundup of 23 comebacks guaranteed to add a little zest to the age-old directive of “Go do the dishes!”
Next time you find yourself on the receiving end of this all-too-familiar chore request, try one of these playful retorts.
Who knows, you might just get a laugh instead of a ladle handed to you!
Keep these comebacks handy, and let the kitchen become your stage for a bit of impromptu wit and humor.
After all, a spoonful of comedy can make even dishwashing seem delightful!