Looking for a way to add a pinch of humor to your relationship with your stepdad? You’re in luck!
We’ve cooked up a collection of 22 side-splitting roasts that are perfect for those light-hearted, family moments.
Whether it’s during a Sunday barbecue or a casual evening at home, these playful jibes are designed to spark laughter and strengthen your bond.
#1 – “You’re like an alarm clock; you make a lot of noise, but I still don’t listen to you.”
- Perfect for those times when he’s being particularly loud or insistent, this jest teases about tuning him out.
#2 – “You’re not just a stepdad, you’re a step-up from my real dad.”
- A cheeky twist on a compliment, this roast is great for acknowledging the unique and positive role he plays in your life, with a hint of humor.
#3 – “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘FINE’ written all over you.”
- Use this one when he’s dressed up or feeling good about himself. It’s a playful way to compliment him while also poking fun.
#4 – “You’re proof that age is just a number… and in your case, a really high one.”
- This is a lighthearted tease about his age, perfect for his birthday or when he’s talking about ‘the good old days.’
#5 – “If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”
- A classic roast that playfully makes fun of his looks while implying he’s got a face that brings joy.
#6 – “You’re like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think ‘not now.'”
- Ideal for those moments when he’s being particularly dad-like, this joke compares his presence to something routinely annoying but necessary.
#7 – “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
- Great for a moment when he’s being sarcastically incredulous or skeptical about something you’ve said.
#8 – “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception.”
- A humorous way to poke fun at his forgettable nature, this roast is good-natured and cheeky.
#9 – “You’re not old, you’re just… chronologically gifted.”
- This is a fun way to acknowledge his age without being too direct, wrapped up in a backhanded compliment.
#10 – “You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.”
- Perfect for a playful dig when he’s done something a bit silly or absent-minded.
#11 – “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled.”
- This roast is ideal for when he’s trying to be the ‘wise one’ but ends up missing the mark.
#12 – “You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
- A lighthearted way to tease him about his grumpy days or when he’s being overly dramatic.
#13 – “You’re so bright, do you bleach your teeth with your brain?”
- Use this when he makes a not-so-smart comment, suggesting his brightness is more about his teeth than his intellect.
#14 – “You should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.”
- This one’s a playful nudge at his personality, suggesting a need for internal beautification.
#15 – “I’d explain it to you but I don’t have any crayons with me.”
- Perfect for those moments when he’s struggling to understand something simple, this roast humorously implies a need for a very basic explanation.
#16 – “You’re like a slinky: not really good for much, but bring a smile when pushed down the stairs.”
- A hilarious and slightly dark way to tease about his usefulness in a fun, exaggerated manner.
#17 – “You’re not lazy, you’re on energy-saving mode.”
- A good-natured poke at his laid-back or lazy days, this roast reframes his inactivity in a funny, positive light.
#18 – “If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d be in debt.”
- Ideal for moments when he’s said something less than brilliant, this jest teases about the rarity of his wise words.
#19 – “You’re like a glowstick. Sometimes you need to be broken to shine.”
- This is a playful way to acknowledge those moments when he only shows his best self after a bit of a struggle.
#20 – “If you were any more inane, you’d be a parallel line.”
- A clever roast that’s also a nod to his perhaps not-so-sharp moments, wrapped up in a geometric joke.
#21 – “You’re as useful as a white crayon.”
- Use this roast to playfully suggest that he’s not always the most helpful, in a humorous and light-hearted way.