23 Great Comebacks for “Go Do the Dishes!”

Have you ever been playfully (or not so playfully) told to “Go do the dishes!” and found yourself at a loss for words?

Whether it’s a lighthearted jest among friends or a family member nudging you towards the sink, having a witty comeback can turn the moment into a fun exchange.

Today, we’ve compiled 23 clever retorts to “Go do the dishes!” that are sure to bring a smile or even a hearty laugh.

These comebacks will add a bit of spice to your daily banter and maybe, just maybe, get you out of dish duty now and then.

#1 – “And risk ruining my manicure? Never!”

  • A playful response that humorously suggests you have more glamorous priorities.

#2 – “I’m practicing for a paper plate-only lifestyle.”

  • Implies that you’re aiming for a future where doing dishes becomes obsolete.

#3 – “Only if you sing the clean-up song!”

  • A fun way to involve the other person in the task, maybe making it a more entertaining chore.

#4 – “How about rock, paper, scissors for it?”

  • Suggests a game to decide who really has to do the dishes, adding an element of chance.

#5 – “I thought you wanted to build character?”

  • A witty retort implying that doing the dishes is a character-building exercise for the person who asked.

#6 – “But I’m allergic to wet sponges!”

  • A humorous excuse, playing up an imaginary allergy to avoid the task.

#7 – “I cooked, you clean!”

  • Reminds the other person of the classic household rule: the one who cooks doesn’t have to clean.

#8 – “I’m on dish-strike until further notice.”

  • A tongue-in-cheek way to declare a temporary hiatus from dishwashing duties.

#9 – “Let’s ask the magic 8-ball!”

  • Brings in a bit of mystique and fun by suggesting a decision should be left to chance.

#10 – “I’m saving water for the environment.”

  • A socially conscious excuse, playfully using environmental concern to skirt the chore.

#11 – “My horoscope warned me against dishes today.”

  • A humorous way to use astrology as your ‘rational’ defense against dishwashing.

#12 – “I’m currently in a no-dishwashing phase of life.”

  • A lighthearted way to declare a personal policy against doing dishes.
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#13 – “I did them in my dream last night, does that count?”

  • A creative and funny way to say you’ve already done your part, at least in the dream world.

#14 – “I’m preserving the artistic food remnants for inspiration.”

  • Turns the task into an artful endeavor, joking about the leftovers as a source of creativity.

#15 – “My fortuneteller said I should avoid soap today.”

  • Another mystical excuse, this time invoking the advice of a fortuneteller.

#16 – “I support the growth of dish ecosystems.”

  • A humorous take, pretending to be a supporter of the tiny ecosystem that forms in unwashed dishes.

#17 – “I’m waiting for the dishwashing fairy.”

  • A whimsical excuse, hoping for a mythical creature to take care of the chore.

#18 – “I’m researching if dishes can clean themselves if left alone.”

  • Pretends to conduct a ‘scientific’ experiment on self-cleaning dishes.

#19 – “But I’m the designated taste tester!”

  • Implies that your role in the kitchen is strictly limited to tasting, not cleaning.

#20 – “I donated my dishwashing time to charity.”

  • A humorous way to say your time is being used for a nobler cause.

#21 – “I’m practicing saying ‘no’ more often.”

  • A cheeky response that turns down the request as a part of personal development.

#22 – “Dishes are afraid of me, you better do them.”

  • A funny way to suggest that you’re so bad at doing dishes, it’s best if someone else handles them.

#23 – “I’m busy writing a book called ‘How to Avoid Doing Dishes’.”

  • A creative excuse that implies you’re too caught up in writing about avoiding the task to actually do it.

And there you have it – our roundup of 23 comebacks guaranteed to add a little zest to the age-old directive of “Go do the dishes!”

Next time you find yourself on the receiving end of this all-too-familiar chore request, try one of these playful retorts.

Who knows, you might just get a laugh instead of a ladle handed to you!

Keep these comebacks handy, and let the kitchen become your stage for a bit of impromptu wit and humor.

After all, a spoonful of comedy can make even dishwashing seem delightful!

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